carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
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Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
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We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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