RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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