Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
