why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
