I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
