Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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