Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
