Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
