did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
he thought i was a dude.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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