it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize