Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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