oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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