I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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