There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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