she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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