apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
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