I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
