we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize