I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
