you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
