What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
