Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize