ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize