im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
