I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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