need another drink. this is the easiest way
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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