I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
