I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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