No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
