I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
