Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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