Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize