Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
