ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
