Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
