Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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