I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
