She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
