Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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