FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
