I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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