Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
