I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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