For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
