And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
