Dual....:-)
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
worst night to have a conscience
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
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