I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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