You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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