She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
