I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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