so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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