You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
