She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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