Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You're like the curious george of whores
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
