last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
