it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
