So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
