She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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