Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
