Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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