i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
