if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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