hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The uberlube is also flammable
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
there is puke in my bra ... again
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
