I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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