then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize